By Mark Renz
The sounds roused me from a deep sleep. They were all around our tent--low, ominous
grunting that could only belong to wild hogs. These creatures are known to weigh over
400 pounds and sport sharp, six-inch tusks that could easily slice through a person's skin.
Instinctively, I slapped the tent floor and bellowed, "Get outta here!"
My wife woke up with a start and asked me what in the world I was screaming about.
"Wild hogs!" I responded excitedly, my heart pounding. "There must have been a dozen
of them around our campsite!"
As I turned to warn my wife, the real source of the noises became evident. Before
retiring, my lovely mate had complained of sinus problems. So there she was, snoring
peacefully, snuggled up against my ear.
Now, I know what you're probably wondering. Will she ever speak to me again after this
shows up in print? I certainly hope so. Besides, I'm the true snorer in our family.
Actually, in every encounter I've ever had with wild hogs in Southwest Florida, they've
wanted nothing to do with me. "Wild," is really not the right word either. To be
accurate, what we have are feral hogs, which means they're neither wild nor domestic.
Chris Columbus delivered domestic pigs to the West Indies in 1493, and Spanish
conquistador Hernando de Soto brought about 300 of them to Florida in 1539. Breeding
pairs of pigs were given to friendly Calusa Indian chiefs, while others escaped during
skirmishes between the Spaniards and Calusas. After 450 years or so in the wild, they've
developed an attitude, which is why people refer to them as wild. Today, it's estimated
that there are over 500,000 of them throughout Florida.
Lone hogs are most often males, as the females usually travel together with their young,
shopping for roots, tubers, grass, even small animals--dead or alive. Males are boars and
are the ones with the longer tusks. The females are known as sows.
Hogs in the wild today are not just from Spanish descent. Some are a carry-over from
European and Russian wild boars, as well as Florida domestic farm hogs that until 1952
were "open range" animals. Most are black, but many are brown with black spots, or
even bluish.
How smart are they? My wife and I raised a brother and sister (Rufus and Ramona), and
we had quite a few opportunities to observe their behavior on a daily basis. While I don't
believe they'll be lining up any time soon to register to vote, they appeared to be every bit
as smart as our dogs. They were just as loving and just as sensitive.
Their personalities were distinctively different too. Rufus (the sister), was reserved and
at times cranky, while Ramona (the brother) was always carefree and playful.
Both showed their "wild" side when they sensed danger. Whenever I would sneak up on
them and make some noise that wasn't familiar to them, they would stand motionless
with the hair on their backs standing straight up. Once they realized it was only me, then
they would immediately lighten up and run toward me, grunting gleefully all the while.
But something I never heard them do was snore.
We remained alert for about 10 minutes without hearing so much as a cloven hoof
crushing a dried leaf. Gradually, we relaxed and drifted off to sleep again. But it wasn't
long before those same throaty sounds again penetrated my sleep. My God, it sounded as
they had forced their way inside our tent!